I’ve always prided myself on working hard. I’ve lived by the belief that ‘if a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing well’. I’ve always put my heart and soul into my work.
In every single job:
- I worked hard
- I put in the long hours
- I went the extra mile
- I over delivered
- I got stuck in
I was known as a ‘do-er’, a high achiever and someone you could count on.
I used to tell myself that I loved what I was doing. That I loved the learning, the contributing, the achieving, the connecting with people and the leading.
And I did love it all. But underneath all that were some uncomfortable truths:
- I was measuring my worth by my productivity
- I was trying to prove to myself that I was capable and worthy
- I was constantly worried that ‘they’ would find out I wasn’t as capable, effective or smart as they thought I was
These feelings led me to always feel like I needed:
- To put in more hours
- To do another course or qualification
- To attend all the meetings
- To read all the emails
- To know all the details
Just to prove I was good enough. Can you relate to this?
Not only was it absolutely exhausting; it took me to a breath away from burnout on several occasions! It’s also a never-ending treadmill. Because the cycle of proving never stops. No matter how qualified you become, no matter how many times you get promoted. And it doesn’t matter if you’re 24, 44 or 54 that nagging feeling just follows you around stealing your joy and blocking your flow. I know because I’ve met too many women during my career as an executive coach that have been carrying that weight around with them.
It wasn’t until I did the inner work to unhook myself from these unhelpful beliefs and patterns that I could start to bring my unique gifts into teh world in a way that flowed. That meant I could still achieve great success but without having to do it at a cost to my well-being or my happiness.
I was able to be more authentic and contribute more powerfully but in a more sustainable way.
Now this isn’t about not working or not working hard. But it is about shifting the blocks that stand in the way of you being in your flow. It means achieving but not at any cost. It’s about removing the proving energy that can cost you your energy, wellbeing and living a wholehearted life.
When you clear yourself of that proving energy you’ll stop doing that crazy stuff like:
- responding to emails at midnight
- working on your holiday
- returning from maternity leave after only 2 weeks
And you free up energy to be more creative, more innovative, more focused and actually more productive. You can start to work smarter and not harder.
You might be wondering how? How can I shift out of my proving energy? How do I actually work smarter not harder?
You don’t have to know how to do it because I do. I’ve helped lots of women to do this and I’m here for you to show you how. And if I’m honest it’s one of my favourite things to do in the world. Helping women like you to shift out of their unhelpful proving energy to allow their true strengths and gifts to flow in the world.
If that sounds interesting then get in touch and we can schedule a quick conversation about how we could work together.
In the meantime I hope you find comfort in these words from the brilliant Maya Angelou
We’re genuine, like-minded women, just like you!
We’re a community, reinventing how we combine work and motherhood without sacrificing our sanity and wellbeing.